Anonymous

Reviewed a 1976 Pontiac LeMans on Dec 28, 2007

1976 LeMans 2-door. 350 2bbl. Automatic. Gross weight: about 23 tons, half of that in the doors. Bought from my Dad, rebuilt the motor with Comp cam, Rhoades lifters, 4bbl. intake and nasty Rochester copped from an old Firebird, headers with pipes turned out right behind the doors and air shocks and fat, fat white-letter skins on honeycombs...all that cliched nonsense, and oh dear Christ how I loved that car and the monstrous vinyl bench seat that you could almost stretch out on. I can't even pretend at objectivity here... the car might've been noisy and unreliable and, well, utterly ridiculous, but I'm oblivious to all that. That Love-Mans ferried me about through my glorious Youth, Man; that sticky white vinyl, patched in places with tape, embraced the lovely, apple-shaped bottoms of several, slender, young lovelies whose beauty has long since faded, whose innocence has fled, whose asses now require stouter seats altogether. The rumble of those glass-packs infuriated my Dad and intimidated my enemies...or so I imagined in my stupid, blissful naivete. Every puff of blue smoke, every protesting shriek from the leaky power steering pump, every hunt for the ubiquitous vise-grip pliers to raise or lower the window- these things were beautiful. Do you hear me? Beautiful.